This is another desire! To conquer or overcome desire is another desire, right? The entire universe is based on desires. Basic instinct in the human being is from desire. You are here because of the desire. Right? Your father and mother had a wish; they desired and you came here. People meet together, that pull, that attraction that happens between animals and plants, the procreation in creation is because of desire. Desire is the basis of this planet. Even if you say, “I want liberation(moksha)”, that is also a desire. “I want to get rid of my desires”, that is also a desire. There is virtually no getting rid of desires.
However, all thoughts are not desires. Desire is sort of a compelling feeling no doubt. It’s a thought backed by feelings and life force. You get millions of thoughts but not all of them are desires. But the one which you feel in the gut, in your whole body, “I want this really…”, that is the desire.
So, what to do? Let us understand the trap of desire better.
What is Desire?
There is a difference between an intention (dream or wish) and desire. Desire is clinging on to your wish. You are constantly on it and that brings disappointment.
Purpose of Desire
All desires have got one goal, and that is happiness. If a desire brings unhappiness, it has not reached its goal. The goal and purpose of desires is to bring happiness.
Desire Taking us in The Vicious Circle
When you analyze the desire, you see the state of mind we are in before the desire arises is the same state when the desire is fulfilled. That means desire takes you in a full circle. It takes you around and brings you back to the same point where you were before a desire arose. Each desire comes up in you like a wave and then it subsides. Either it subsides as frustration when it is not fulfilled or if it is fulfilled, it leaves you with peace and a sense of elevation. This is only for a short time as another desire is in the back to jump on to take that vacant spot. So, it’s a chain, the more fulfillment you get in the desires, the more they keep coming inside of you. A stream of them keep coming.
What do you do? You gallop on desires one after another. We seldom stay put and enjoy the moment. Because there is no time. By the time the desire is fulfilled, and you start enjoying it, one more pop up. Just like the waves in the ocean where one wave comes and lashes the shore, it is receding, and another wave has already come. So, when life moves like this, then we are on a constant run.
What we need to know is that a desire fulfilled takes you back to the same place you were before the desire arose.
How does a Desire arise?
What is the source of desire or where does it come from? It comes when you are not aware of your Being, your Self. The other instances are as following:
- A desire arises with the memory of a pleasant experience and past impressions.
- A desire might arise through listening.
- A desire can be triggered through the association of certain people and a place.
- Someone else’s need or desire may manifest in you as your own desire. For example, when someone is hungry, you get a desire to feed them or someone wants to talk to you and you get a desire to talk to them.
- The destiny or a happening in which you have a part to play may trigger a desire of which you have no idea. For example, a gentleman in Quebec, Canada kept making roads and working on a farm for 30 years, not knowing for what — for it was destined to become our Canadian Ashram.
Our Human Situations of Desire Fulfilment
First, the lucky are those who desire something, and it gets fulfilled. There is not much time gap between the wish and its fulfilment.
Second, there are those who have this long-standing desire, and they toil their whole life and finally they get it one day. By the time they get what they wanted, they are already exhausted. There is no energy left to enjoy it.
Third, there are those who don’t get their desires fulfilled. This causes frustration and the cells in the brain, in mind, in body are getting stuffed with frustration. Then we sort of get used to this frustration. And you see the drooping face and depressive mood. These things take over us.
Nature of Desire
All desires are for happiness. That is the goal of desire, isn’t it? How often does your desire lead you to the goal? But have you thought about the nature of desire? It simply means tomorrow, and not now, isn’t it? Joy is never tomorrow. It is always now.
Also, desire is always in search of happiness or knowledge. When one’s desire is directed towards a person, or an object, or some desired situation, then the moment you get something better, your desire will start running in that direction (meaning that desires are always for more happiness and without an end).
What is happening? A wish or desire arises in you, certain energy moves upward, and you feel some sensation arise in you and that propels you into action.
Catch-22 of Energy of Desire
It’s your desire which has compelled you to do things which you never wanted to do. It has muddled our feelings in so many ways; it has triggered anger in you. Behind every anger there is desire; Behind jealousy there is desire; Behind greed there is desire; Behind all those emotions which you never wanted to have in your life there is desire; Behind your sadness, your depression there is desire.
At the same time, the culmination of desire is happiness and what desire promises you and has been promising you is happiness and contentment.
Look back into your own life right now as you are reading and reflect on how many incidents you’ve had those desires which has brought a sense of enthusiasm in you? A sparkle in your eyes? And you are all excited? What desires create that excitement? That spark, enthusiasm, sense of joy already showing up in the very process of achieving or fulfilling the desire. Think about those moments and see what was the state of your mind? Remember the state irrespective of the cause or the object or thing that you desire for. Look at the desire itself as a pure energy. It may be a desire for ice cream, for a job, for a house, for a car, for a kid, for a partner or companion, whatever it is. But that energy that rises in you and invokes a certain charm inside of you. If you pay attention to that energy, you will see there is a shift in your consciousness; that shift keeps smiling on your face; the joy in your mind is constant and nothing can take that away from you.
On other side, if the mind is burning in the desire, it cannot calm down and thus, doesn’t see the fulfilment of the desire. It’s a catch-22. When you are calm and centered and serene within, your wishes can fruitily quickly and unless you calm your mind down, it won’t get fructified; and unless it frucitfies, your mind doesn’t become calm. You might have noticed when the mind expands, become calmer, the breath becomes cooler.
When the mind is expanding, it loses the clutch of desire. When we want to go deep into meditation, we need to let go of desires. But what do we usually do? We try to chase them out and we think, “Oh! Desire is very bad. Push them off. Push them out.” The more you try to push it, the bigger it bounces back on you. So there’s a skill to do this. That is why you don’t label the desires as this is good or bad, or right or wrong, it has come then let it be there; you honour the desire and then you become a witness to it and what happens is mind expands, breath calms down, body becomes warm, this is the power. The power is your desire.
Too many desires in the mind and the breath is very hot, the mind is bundled up, it’s stressed, and we don’t know how to handle it.
How to deal with the subtle energy of Desire?
How can you have desires when you are joyful? And how can you really be joyful now when you have desires? Desire appears to lead you to happiness. In fact, it cannot. And that is why it is Maya.
To deal with it, consider the following points:
1. Have Patience
Some wishes get fulfilled quickly and some take a long time. Suppose you sow a seed, you put a sapling of mango and you cannot next day say, “oh! I sowed this mango sapling but where is the fruit?” And that patience to hold on to your wish is something you have to pay attention to.
2. Desire BIGGEST
Increase your desires for the large things in life, not small things. It is the desire for small things that causes problems. If you have to have desires, ask for the highest, that is, the Supreme Being. Seek to make the whole Universe your own, desire for everyone’s happiness in this Universe.
When desires are big, they are no longer detrimental. When you desire for truth, when you are committed to truth, the mind becomes calm and clear. Small desires give rise to restlessness, but desire for the highest truth settles the mind. Restlessness is something that brings pain.
3. De-tach from De-sire
When you identify yourself so much with desire, that is when you become miserable.
Desire is the cause of misery, when we identify ourselves with the desire.
~ Lord Buddha
Also, if we detach your sense of peace, joy and happiness from the desire, you will see you are standing at the shore of an ocean and watching the waves rise and fall, like that you are seeing the desires arise and they fall. It doesn’t matter how big or small they are. They rise and fall, you remain unwavered. You remain so strong in a blissful state that nothing can disturb your state of happiness or joy. It is difficult and not so easy, but it is not impossible.
Summing Up
Desire is a power. It is a sword or a knife, that you can use to cut the food, the bread and you can cut your hand also. You have to have the wisdom to use this knife, this instrument, this energy that is called desire. Take a few minutes and reflect on the impact of desire in your life. How has it put you through a roller coaster?
One can achieve the power of desire and to some extent it starts happening in your life as you continue a practice of meditation and pranayama. There is no going back to that state where the desire, not that you have a desire, but you became the desire itself. Not that state when you get so rattled on small happenings or not happenings.
Every desire is towards joy. The aim of any wish is to be happy. It takes you towards joy. At least it promises and it may not deliver it. But it promises happiness.
Source of Desire
Where does it come from? It comes when you are not aware of your Being, your Self. Desire is your wanting to stay in the moment. Desire is to experience joy. Joy is only in the moment. And when you are in the moment, there is no desire. When you are joyful, when you are satisfied, there is no burning desire at that time.
Just imagine your state of mind before a desire arose in you, after all the circus of having a desire and getting it fulfilled, you come back to that same place.
Contentment
Those who have it will get more and those who don’t have, even little they have will also be taken away from them.
This is exactly what it is. How we feel about our own desires. If you have a doubt, ‘Oh will it happen or not? Maybe it will not happen. So what?’
What to do with unfulfilled desires? The lifelong desire of prosperity in relationships goes unfulfilled. As time passes I feel frustrated, regretful, and my energy sapped. How do I manifest these desires and let them go?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You say it is a lifelong desire. Is it really a lifelong desire? Did you have the same desire when you were a kid, or when you were a teenager?
Just take a look at it. Is the desire worth all the effort and time you are putting into it? Or can your life be very useful in some other way? These are a few things that you need to ponder upon. As your energy builds up, let go and you will find that desires just happen. The more you hang onto them, the more you hold on and crave for it, the longer it takes. That is a fact.
Gurudev, all the great saints and enlightened Masters consider Tyaag (sacrifice) and Vairagya (dispassion) as the means to attaining Moksha (final liberation). Is the desire for Moksha not a kind of greed or desire after all?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Yes, it is true that intense desire or greed for Moksha is also a kind of desire ultimately, but that is the final and the last desire that one has to let go of. One needs to cultivate or have this desire for Moksha to overcome and drop all other kinds of desires and feverishness. When even this desire (for Moksha) drops off, one experiences totality and bliss.
Desire should be like a coat. You should have the ability to remove it and keep it aside.
– Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
